There was an easy solution, but not one that I could consider lightly. I could tell Karin plainly that I didn’t see a future for us. The problem was... I didn’t necessarily believe that. I’d thought that on at least four or five occasions in the past, but each time, something happened, or something changed, and I had a new perspective. I wondered, what the best thing for Karin would be? Again, that was something I didn’t know. Would it be better to break things off now, cleanly? Or would it be. More importantly it showed me that I wasn’t alone in how I felt and that I wasn’t a freak. For a while it did scare me that my submissiveness was often described as a sexual fetish/kink especially because I was still quite sexually repressed and unaware I was bisexual. I evolved and matured a lot in the rest of the school year and became a lot more comfortable with how I was feeling. I also went from having a small piece of me enjoying my situation to downright loving and savoring every moment. She had a modest basement office with an old hand-me-down computer. Career choices aside, the Nuymeans seriously intrigued her, and she felt a bit of an obsessive compulsion to find out more about them. They had completely different notions of sex and culture. More importantly, they had strangely advanced technology for an ancient people in the rain forest. As near as she could tell they had complete mastery over the problems associated with uninhibited sexuality including over-developed. We spent hours running up Renee's stairs from the living room, down the second staircase into the kitchen, through the open door into Noel's kitchen, up the stairs and onto the dresser, climbing through the narrow gap into the loft and dropping down back into Renee's house to start over.The times I sat in the garden, discussing painting with Ric, explaining why I preferred the muted pastel tones of watercolours (as he did) in contrast to my sister who preferred the bright, vibrant primary.
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